Poem I have memorized (Terrance Hayes).

New York Poem

In New York from a rooftop in Chinatown
one can see the sci-fi bridges and aisles
of buildings where there are more miles
of shortcuts and alternative takes than
there are Miles Davis alternative takes.
There is a white girl who looks hi-
jacked with feeling in her glittering jacket
and her boots that look made of dinosaur
skin and R is saying to her I love you
again and again. On a Chinatown rooftop
in New York anything can happen.
Someone says “abattoir” is such a pretty word
for “slaughterhouse.” Someone says
mermaids are just fish ladies. I am so
fucking vain I cannot believe anyone
is threatened by me. In New York
not everyone is forgiven. Dear New York,
dear girl with a bar code tattooed
on the side of your face, and everyone
writing poems about and inside and outside
the subways, dear people underground
in New York, on the sci-fi bridges and aisles
of New York, on the rooftops of Chinatown
where Miles Davis is pumping in,
and someone is telling me about the contranyms,
how “cleave” and “cleave” are the same word
looking in opposite directions. I now know
“bolt” is to lock and “bolt” is to run away.
That’s how I think of New York. Someone
jonesing for Grace Jones at the party,
and someone jonesing for grace.

photo taken headed uptown, disposable camera, December 2011

The book I made in an edition of 4 (poem, photograph).

Blanco y Negro (y Gris y Gris)

What a city should be like: angles of unfolding agave.

After noontime’s whistle, the streets are ripped asunder 

and the reassembled. The grey clouds of the sea’s

factory remove appointments like gloves. Beauty’s

nothing but a startled bird awaiting snow.

Poem fragment (James Schuyler).

(From the 48-page poem “The Morning of the Poem,” a poem of epic chitchat, a poem of window-watching and beverages and plants and seasons, which I read on the airplane and adored noisily in my cramped airplane seat.)

So many lousy poets
So few good ones
What’s the problem?
No innate love for
Words, no sense of
How the thing said
Is in the words, how
The words are themselves
The thing said: love,
Mistake, promise, auto
Crack-up, color, petal,
The color in the petal
Is merely light
And that’s refraction:
A word, that’s the poem.
A blackish-red nasturtium.
Roses shed on
A kitchen floor, a
Cool and scented bed
To loll and roll on,
I wish I had a rose
Or butterfly tattoo:
But where? Here on
My arm or my inner
Thigh, small, where
Only the happy few
might see it? I’ll
never forget that
Moving man, naked to
The waist a prize-
Fight buckle on his
Belt (Panama) and
Flying high on each
Pectoral a bluebird
On tan sky skin. I
Wanted to eat him up:
No such luck. East
28th Street, 1950.
How the roses pass.

Books; a quote; photographs. Poetry.

Somehow, even after 7 hours in the studio today (4 art books due very, very soon), I still love books and writing so much that it’s hard for me to express it in words. I’ll try something James Dickey said:

What you have to realize when you write poetry, or if you love poetry, is that poetry is just naturally the greatest god damn thing that ever was in the whole universe.

And then there’s this book I was given, a tiny little thing, with tiny poems letterpressed into its pages, poems I feel I almost wrote myself (and after taking this book arts class, I actually COULD make this book myself [!!]):

I can’t seem to write anything small these days. I am long-winded, full of things to say, full of poems despite how much I must do in the realm of schoolwork every day to insure that by the time I board a plane to Nashville, on May 11th, everything will be finished. It will be gloriously bound, pressed, researched, written, edited, stapled, sent, dropped off, handed in, handed over, FINISHED!

Literary love (Baldwin).

I’m in the middle of my fourth reading of Giovanni’s Room–the third reading this year. I don’t think there’s much left for me to underline, but I’m sure I’ll find a way.

“People who believe that they are strong-willed and the masters of their destiny can only continue to believe this by becoming specialists in self-deception. Their decisions are not really decisions at all—a real decision makes one humble, one knows that it is at the mercy of more things than can be named—but elaborate systems of evasion, of illusion, designed to make themselves and the world appear to be what they and the world are not.”

There’s no perfect rhyme for Valentine (mine).

I love a man, a plan, a canal, Canada.
I love various women in black tights in Brooklyn, NY.
I love a cat, and a dog named Satchel.
I love a woman wrapped in florals.
I love an author and her drawings.
I love concentric circles and the shapes of toes.
I love a plant’s refusal.
I love a man in only socks.
I love a map on the wall and its tacks.
I love Eloise, a bird I know.
I love the squeeze of heels and walking slow.
I love an employee of our government.
I love the giving of a blanket.
I love hot pink and rolling.
I love a man in Nike sneaks.
I’d love a doctor in the family.
To love a train conductor is, for me, a natural act.
I love in pairs of two and seven, of four and eight, of six.
I love a taller sister.
I love the postman in his sturdy hat.
I love a man named Ed on Robinson.
I love a poet lost.
I love a farther toss than I can throw.
I love a lengthy gait.
I love a saucer as a plate, a teacup for a bowl.
I love the class of ’78.
I love many chickens and various goats.
I love on a swift diagonal and often with a pen.
I love three men I’ll never meet.
I love the summer’s slicing heat and those I’ve found in August.
I love a mother and a dad.
I love a flannel dyed to plaid.
I love the witches and the Wiccans and the West.
I love three meats I’ll never test.
I love the sound of words more than what they mean.
I love a vestibule, a room for shoes, a coffee paid in quarters.
I love a midget and a mouse.
I love the characters in books.
I love a shameful act of bathroom talk at 10pm.
I love a Christmas day.
I love a solid mound of clay.
I love instructions from the ground.
I love all Katzes, near and far.
I love the cheeses that I know, and the tallgirl at the bar.
I love the French, the Portuguese, the Italian and the Danes.
I love a three pack of girly-patterned Hanes.
I love the flowers in the pitcher and three kisses on the cheek.
I love a meek and puddled world, a squirrel, and a moat.
I love a bruise begotten in the rain.
I love the smell of toast and all the skills a man can boast about.
I love a month from which the country flees; I love mosquitoes dressed as bees, and sweeping up the kitchen mess, and dressing for the day, and all the boys and girls at school, and staying dry, and fish that’s fried, and all the ways we pry and prod and pinch, and the inches that we gain, and the  points amassed along the way, and all the ways to say it.

Poem (Michael Dumanis).

Memoir

There comes a point
in every story
when I panic,

there comes this panic,
I catch myself clutching
a wrench at Wal-Mart,

a wren in a field,
clutching a wrist
near a radio tower,

or someone’s key
I had not been aware of,
turning the knob

of a make-believe door.
Body the contour
of jazz in a speakeasy,

body the texture
of gasps in a gangway,
why I keep letting

you down is beyond me.
I’ve taken pains.
Practiced synchronized breathing.

Counted past ten.
Talked with zeal about things.
Even summoned the nerve

to look fetching in amber.
But can’t get past
that which rattles inside me.

Try to think back:
was I going
to flash you or juggle.

Or was there a story
I needed to tell you.
Was it important.

Could it have swayed you.
I meant to give objects
totemic significance,

refer to a childhood,
invoke certain towns.
And would I have broken

one heart or another.
It was the story of my life,
it would have started

with the note la,
then a couple of llamas.
Sometimes, a window fan

would, in it, pass for an eye.
Trust me,
it would have been riveting.

Poem I read out loud to a group of people last night at an ad hoc poetry gathering

I like the word ziggurat a lot more than I like ziggurats

We will not associate with the noun
we will love the word for its z-ness
and its sound
its utter rarity
and for the fact that I once said rarity to you on your birthday & you remembered it
and titled a photograph “rarity”
and the photograph had many trees in it, only trees on a hill, long and leaning
and the rarity was that many of them, and was you
it was january twenty-third; you were twenty-four years old
we walked for hours there was not a single ziggurat in our mouths or in the trees
the trees has been planted quite planned quite public for all to see

this is not a story about ziggurats or bridges or the publicity of gardens
this is not a story about age or of how our mothers boast of our first and current talents
there is nothing of the triangle here
nothing of the sphere
this is a story about geometry, and not at all about geometry
this is a story I wrote for you so that you would remember it

(this is a story that only the two of us know)

Poem whose philosophy I agree with (William Meredith).

The cheer

reader my friend, is in the words here, somewhere.
Frankly, I’d like to make you smile.
Words addresssing evil won’t turn evil back
but they can give heart.
The cheer is hidden in right words.

A great deal isn’t right, as they say,
as they are lately at some pains to tell us.
Words have to speak about that.
They would be the less words
for saying smile when they should say do.
If you ask them do what?
they turn serious quick enough, but never unlovely.
And they will tell you what to do,
if you listen, if you want that.

Certainly good cheer has never been what’s wrong,
though solemn people mistrust it.
Against evil, between evils, lovely words are right.
How absurd it would be to spin these noises out,
so serious that we call them poems,
if they couldn’t make a person smile.
Cheer or courage is what they were all born in.
It’s what they’re trying to tell us, miming like that.
It’s native to the words,
and what they want us to always know,
even when it seems quite impossible to do.

Word (it’s all about the Z).

Here are some rarely used z-words that I invite you to integrate into conversation.

zoanthropy: delusion that one is an animal (so common these days)
zoetic: living; vital (how poetic)
zazzy: flashy; stylish (I thought I’d made up this word circa 8th grade)
zoilism: carping and unjust criticism
zomotherapy: medical treatment using raw meat (I am NOT interested)
zabaglione: frothy custard (what an intriguing format for custard, this froth)
zaftig: having a full; rounded figure (this feels Yiddish)
zanyism: buffoonery
zapata: flowing, drooping moustache (It flows…but also droops! Fail.)
zappy: lively; entertaining
zarf: ornamental holder for hot coffee cup (sounds more like a coffee snafu)
zatch: female genitalia (!!!!!!!!!)
zemni: blind mole-rat (I’m hoping, for the sake of the species, that this is uncommon)
zho: cross between a yak and a cow (zho no)
zonelet: a little zone (okay I DEFINITELY made up this word)
zoodikers: an exclamation (Zoodikers!)
zoon: organism regarded as a complete animal (…so close to noon[ie]…)
zorino: euphemism for skunk fur (golly I didn’t know we needed a euphemism for this)

z-baby: a nickname coined in the summer of 2006 for a first-rate lady whose name will be on the cover of my first cheekily-titled collection of pop essays about my life (“Pop Rocks with Zara Zuckerman”)