Magazine articles for ladies (list I made while laughing).

These articles don’t exist yet because maybe they don’t have to be written because maybe just their titles are enough. I came up with them in a rush of hilarity one day last week. It was way too easy. Can I make a career out of this? Show me the money!

8 Ways To Tell If You Fell Asleep Or If You’re Still Watching That Movie

Seven Ways To Wear Your Hair That Will Convince People You Definitely Have Hair

Top 10 Best Books To Read While Pooping

Twenty-Seven Hotties To Think About While the Gynecologist Does Her Thang Down There

Six Sexy Songs To Make Your Sex Sexier and Songier

“I Can’t Calculate That”: One Woman’s True Story of Trying to Figure Out How Many Tampons She Has Used In Her Whole Life

The Best Dog Breeds For Keeping Your Secrets

Do the Dougie, Or Don’t: Women Confess Their Sad True Tales of Dancing Really Bad

How To Eat Garlic For Dinner And Still Get Banged That Night

Best Ways To Integrate Your Sad Childhood Stuffed Animals Into Foreplay

10 Fruits That Will Make You Say, “Wow, Fruit Is Good!”

Classiest Slutty Wedding Dresses

Six Nailpolishes That Scream “I’m Hungry!”

“Yoga Takes Forever”: One Woman’s Story of Downward Dog Boredom

5 Easy (& Photogenic!) Weekday Recipes That Are Actually Just Take-Out Placed in a Pricey Bowl from Anthropologie

7 Kittens That Will Make You Puke and Never Want To See a Kitten Again

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